It's Ezra's 2nd birthday next weekend, and I am suffering from something I like to call 'Birthday party guilt'. We decided a while back that we weren't going to throw a party this year, instead we were going to go to do a family trip to the zoo. Although, ever since I made that decision I have been second guessing it. This sense of guilt keeps seeping through, and I start to feel bad that we aren't having a big celebration for him. Thoughts like, 'not only does he have to adjust to sharing his parents, but now he misses out on a birthday party too'. Or 'does it mean his birthday isn't as important as it was last year', keep going through my head, and I feel like he's getting slighted. When I think rationally about it all, I know that he actually isn't going to care. In fact he will probably like the zoo WAY better than a party because he loves animals. Its probably just a Mum thing, but I just can't seem to shake the guilt.
I tried to make up for it with excess present buying, except I keep getting vetoed by the level headed one in the family. Joel calmly told me yesterday that he doesn't need a lot of extra stuff and that I'm buying this stuff for me and not for Ezra, because once again, Ezra will be really stoked with the couple of presents that we have already gotten him. One of my top love languages is giving and receiving of gifts, so inundating my children with gifts that they don't need comes pretty easily to me!! (If you haven't heard of the 5 love languages, you should check out the book!).
I know that my kids are incredible blessed and lucky just to have the opportunities in life simply because they were born in a wealthy country, and because they are part of a family that wants and loves them. I need to remind myself of this anytime I feel the guilts for minor things like having an awesome family outing instead of a big party. It really is such a minor and first world problem.
Have you ever gotten a case of birthday guilts?
Here are some totally unrelated photos of our beach trip last week!!
Karen xx
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You are doing a wonderful job! Don't let the guilt overshadow that fact!
ReplyDeleteI, too, suffered from some birthday party guilt this year for Parker's first birthday. I went BIG with Aubrey's first party, and I swore I would never go that big again. Too many presents, and too overwhelming in general for a child who won't even remember it! So I stuck with just family for Parker's party last week. As it neared the date of the party, I started feeling guilty that he wasn't going to have as many people around to celebrate his big day! In the end, it was a perfect party -- and he still got too many presents!
We just did Disney on Ice and a trip to Scitech instead of a 6th birthday. But I still feel bad because he really wanted a party. But honestly he still saw his friends and had a great day. And I still made great cakes to help ease the pain for him.
ReplyDeleteWe have friends who do a big party with friends one year and alternate it with a small family party the next year...after two big parties in two years this seems very sensible to me!
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