Why I ditched the Baby Books

Have you ever read a book and thought, wow, thats me to a tee. This author knows everything about me, my wants and needs and how I operate. How I'm feeling, how to make me feel better, if Im hungry or tired (do you know where I'm going with this?), or if I have a tummy ache, or just need a cuddle from my Mum?

I haven't.

So why did I ever think that a book or multiple books were going to be able to tell me these things about my baby? Who is also an individual with personality and feelings. I'm not an expert, I'm just a Mum and a pretty new one at that. I'm not claiming to have all the answers, all I know is what I've experienced. I'm a Mum that ditched the baby books and I try just to go with my God given instincts as a Mother. Most days are good, some days are cry, scream, pull my hair out days, but that comes with the territory I suppose.

I followed a 'eat,play,sleep' routine from a few weeks in, it wasn't based on times, just the main goal was trying not to feed my baby to sleep, although of course sometimes I broke that rule too. Although I wanted to help him learn to fall asleep on his own, which any parent knows is one of the hardest tasks of all. I thought as a new Mum I was supposed to have a 'schedule' based on the time on a clock. I learnt very quickly, that this didn't work for us, it was too stressful, so I ditched it, and went with the flow. The only thing that remained the same on a daily basis was the bedtime routine, and that didnt always go to plan (still doesn't always). By seven months a more regular eating and napping routine emerged organically, meaning, I just tried to follow my baby's cues as much as I could. When he started eating regular solids I started feeding him around the same time everyday, and now at nine months it is fairly predictable. But, what I have learnt is that things change rapidly, a month ago he was napping 3 times a day for about 45mins to an hour each, now he does two naps of about 1 hour 45 mins each. How could I predict that, or schedule it out. He seems to change every week.

I've read books that say 'wake the baby at 7am each morning' pfffft my baby rarely will sleep until 7, he wakes sometime between 5am and 6.30am. if by some miracle he slept past 7, there is no way in hell that I am forfeiting a sleep in. Funnily I wrote this last night, and he slept past 7 this morning. I figure if he's asleep, he needs the rest. I go by the old saying, never wake a sleeping baby. It has to be around for a reason right?

So what's the point of this post? I'm asking myself the same thing right now.

It hasn't been easy, I'm pretty sure it was never supposed to be. Many days, especially the early ones have been soooo difficult. Sometimes it's easy to read all the books and then feel guilty and frustrated because it's not working the way they promised. Some families thrive on schedules, some don't, I didn't. As I'm sure you've figured out by now and this isn't a shocking new discovery: We're all different.

My point I guess is that by being true to myself, and listening to my Mummy instincts and trying not to get hung up on the masses of information out there has helped me in my journey as a Mum. Instead I try just get hung up on that little person who I am so blessed to have in my care. It works for us. I think this is what my Mum was trying to tell me from day one, but she didn't want to impose and tell me what to do.

What works for you?

Karen xx